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Monday, December 15, 2014
Born to Make Mistakes
Okay, I'm showing my age here because the song, "I'm Only Human," by the Human League is rolling through my head. Thus, my title. And while the song brings back peaceful memories of my youth, really, the most frustrating part of life is that I am human. I make mistakes. Sometimes they're intentional ("I know I shouldn't do this, but..."). Sometimes they're unintentional ("I want to do the right thing...") But whatever my intentions, they're still mistakes. And the older I get, the more obvious they become.
I remember the optimism of youth. In my late teens and early twenties, I believed that I could straighten up if I only wanted to. My philosophy was that if my behavior only hurt me, I could live with that. My limit stopped at the point where I thought I might be hurting someone else.
I was such a fool.
Becoming a parent opened my eyes. Young people, listen closely. Whatever hurts a child, hurts a parent. No matter what age you are, if your parents are living, you are a child. Recently, a precious older lady that I knew from church died. I didn't know she was close to death and didn't find out about her condition until after her funeral. It brings tears to my eyes, even tonight, because I wish I'd had one more time to speak with her. To pray with her. To reassure her that I would continue to pray after she was gone... for her daughter. This sweet lady, who must have been around 80 or older, was heartbroken because her daughter had made bad choices and was suffering the consequences of her decisions. As of our last conversation, her daughter was still making bad decisions. My friend worried over what would happen to her daughter when she was gone and felt that she had failed her as a mother. She suffered because a person she loved suffered.
At twenty, I made decisions recklessly because I was self-absorbed and couldn't see beyond myself. I didn't want to hurt strangers and casual friends, but I didn't give a thought to the hurt I caused the people who loved me most. I took those who loved me for granted. And I thought I was strong enough to change whenever I felt I was ready.
And, again, becoming a parent taught me otherwise. Because I had a child, an innocent, I had to change. Every little decision of mine affected him. I may have been willing to play fast and loose with my own future, but I couldn't be that way with his. The kind of man he would become depended in part on the kind of woman I was, and I had to fix that.
The joke was on me.
Because I couldn't fix it.
In fact, the harder I tried to make things right, the worse they became. I couldn't control my temper. I couldn't control my emotions. I couldn't eliminate my fear. I had limits, and for the first time in my life, I was forced to confront them. It was easy to think I could do anything I wanted when I had never actually tested myself. Being self-indulgent is easy. Being self-disciplined requires constant diligence. Becoming self-disciplined when you've been self-indulgent practically requires an act of God.
It did for me.
When I tried to straighten up my life, I realized I was broken. It wasn't a simple realization. I didn't wake up one day and think to myself, "I don't know how to make good decisions." I made what I thought were good decisions and watched them fall apart one by one. The more they fell, the harder I tried. The harder I tried, the harder they fell. I thought I knew how to make life work, but things just didn't go the way I planned. At the end of the day, all my careful thoughts, planning and work just weren't enough. I wasn't enough. The day I realized I was broken was the day I understood that my marriage was falling apart, my worst fears were being realized, and I was about to become a single mom of two boys.
But I wasn't done.
I gave it one last shot. I turned to Jesus. What did I have to lose? I was losing everything anyway. My way didn't work and I didn't want to raise my boys without their dad. Jesus said to treat others the way you want to be treated. I did. Jesus said that in his kingdom if you want to be the greatest then you must become the servant of all. I did. Jesus said not to return insult for insult. I didn't. If someone asks for your shirt, give him your coat, too. I did. And I came to a decision. Whatever it took, I would do it. If setting a good example for my boys and raising them the best way I could took me suffering and sacrificing until I was an old lady, I... would... do... it.
And then God performed a miracle.
He opened my husband's eyes so that he could see me. He saw the changes I made and he saw my heart. And he became willing to meet me where I was.
Jesus did not come to hang out with perfect people. He came to change our hearts so that we could love each other even though we aren't perfect. We forgive so that we can love. We can't love if we can't forgive.
I learned how to love another person by reading the words of Jesus, but I didn't stop there. When I kept reading, I was in for a great surprise. The Bible is the story of a bunch of broken people. Every hero of the Bible was human and made mistakes. Big mistakes. Some of those mistakes resulted in hatred between brothers that lasted generations. Others resulted in pain that lasted only one lifetime. Some were only the weakness of a season of life that left that "hero" changed in some way or allowed God to act as Healer.
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope." Romans 15:4
I'm a parent now. And my "children" aren't only those I've given birth to. People have come into my life that have become a part of who I am and I love them. When they hurt, I hurt and when they are happy, I am happy. If there's one thing I wish I could give to everyone I love, it is the hope that I have. Life isn't easy and I still make mistakes. But they don't break me now. I have a rock solid foundation. "We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-11) When I reach my limits and I'm at the end of my strength, I find there is strength still in me. This is the gift of God. He never leaves us. When I hit bottom, I find a rock there. When all else is gone, I cannot be moved. I feel like what's on the outside of me is soft and easily bruised and hurt, but what's on the inside is solid, heavy, and indestructible.
Alone, we are only human. But with God, we are more than human. And mistakes are learning experiences, not life-ending experiences. With God, our weaknesses make us stronger and His strength is revealed in us. "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." -Jesus (John 10:10)
I remember the optimism of youth. In my late teens and early twenties, I believed that I could straighten up if I only wanted to. My philosophy was that if my behavior only hurt me, I could live with that. My limit stopped at the point where I thought I might be hurting someone else.
I was such a fool.
Becoming a parent opened my eyes. Young people, listen closely. Whatever hurts a child, hurts a parent. No matter what age you are, if your parents are living, you are a child. Recently, a precious older lady that I knew from church died. I didn't know she was close to death and didn't find out about her condition until after her funeral. It brings tears to my eyes, even tonight, because I wish I'd had one more time to speak with her. To pray with her. To reassure her that I would continue to pray after she was gone... for her daughter. This sweet lady, who must have been around 80 or older, was heartbroken because her daughter had made bad choices and was suffering the consequences of her decisions. As of our last conversation, her daughter was still making bad decisions. My friend worried over what would happen to her daughter when she was gone and felt that she had failed her as a mother. She suffered because a person she loved suffered.
At twenty, I made decisions recklessly because I was self-absorbed and couldn't see beyond myself. I didn't want to hurt strangers and casual friends, but I didn't give a thought to the hurt I caused the people who loved me most. I took those who loved me for granted. And I thought I was strong enough to change whenever I felt I was ready.
And, again, becoming a parent taught me otherwise. Because I had a child, an innocent, I had to change. Every little decision of mine affected him. I may have been willing to play fast and loose with my own future, but I couldn't be that way with his. The kind of man he would become depended in part on the kind of woman I was, and I had to fix that.
The joke was on me.
Because I couldn't fix it.
In fact, the harder I tried to make things right, the worse they became. I couldn't control my temper. I couldn't control my emotions. I couldn't eliminate my fear. I had limits, and for the first time in my life, I was forced to confront them. It was easy to think I could do anything I wanted when I had never actually tested myself. Being self-indulgent is easy. Being self-disciplined requires constant diligence. Becoming self-disciplined when you've been self-indulgent practically requires an act of God.
It did for me.
When I tried to straighten up my life, I realized I was broken. It wasn't a simple realization. I didn't wake up one day and think to myself, "I don't know how to make good decisions." I made what I thought were good decisions and watched them fall apart one by one. The more they fell, the harder I tried. The harder I tried, the harder they fell. I thought I knew how to make life work, but things just didn't go the way I planned. At the end of the day, all my careful thoughts, planning and work just weren't enough. I wasn't enough. The day I realized I was broken was the day I understood that my marriage was falling apart, my worst fears were being realized, and I was about to become a single mom of two boys.
But I wasn't done.
I gave it one last shot. I turned to Jesus. What did I have to lose? I was losing everything anyway. My way didn't work and I didn't want to raise my boys without their dad. Jesus said to treat others the way you want to be treated. I did. Jesus said that in his kingdom if you want to be the greatest then you must become the servant of all. I did. Jesus said not to return insult for insult. I didn't. If someone asks for your shirt, give him your coat, too. I did. And I came to a decision. Whatever it took, I would do it. If setting a good example for my boys and raising them the best way I could took me suffering and sacrificing until I was an old lady, I... would... do... it.
And then God performed a miracle.
He opened my husband's eyes so that he could see me. He saw the changes I made and he saw my heart. And he became willing to meet me where I was.
Jesus did not come to hang out with perfect people. He came to change our hearts so that we could love each other even though we aren't perfect. We forgive so that we can love. We can't love if we can't forgive.
I learned how to love another person by reading the words of Jesus, but I didn't stop there. When I kept reading, I was in for a great surprise. The Bible is the story of a bunch of broken people. Every hero of the Bible was human and made mistakes. Big mistakes. Some of those mistakes resulted in hatred between brothers that lasted generations. Others resulted in pain that lasted only one lifetime. Some were only the weakness of a season of life that left that "hero" changed in some way or allowed God to act as Healer.
"For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the Scriptures and the encouragement they provide we might have hope." Romans 15:4
I'm a parent now. And my "children" aren't only those I've given birth to. People have come into my life that have become a part of who I am and I love them. When they hurt, I hurt and when they are happy, I am happy. If there's one thing I wish I could give to everyone I love, it is the hope that I have. Life isn't easy and I still make mistakes. But they don't break me now. I have a rock solid foundation. "We are hard-pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed." (2 Corinthians 4:8-11) When I reach my limits and I'm at the end of my strength, I find there is strength still in me. This is the gift of God. He never leaves us. When I hit bottom, I find a rock there. When all else is gone, I cannot be moved. I feel like what's on the outside of me is soft and easily bruised and hurt, but what's on the inside is solid, heavy, and indestructible.
Alone, we are only human. But with God, we are more than human. And mistakes are learning experiences, not life-ending experiences. With God, our weaknesses make us stronger and His strength is revealed in us. "I can do all things through Christ, who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)
"The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." -Jesus (John 10:10)
Tuesday, February 11, 2014
By It, I Can See Everything Else
At 14, I walked out of the Eye Doctor's office in sheer amazement: I could see the leaves on the trees and the cracks in the road. I remember riding home in the car staring at the road, watching it go by, catching sight of cracks, seeing something that had always been there, but that I had never seen in my everyday life for the 14 years of my existence.
The next day, when I went to school, I could see people walking far across the courtyard and easily recognize them. I had recognized them before I had glasses, of course. I had managed to adapt wonderfully and learned to recognize people by the way they moved and by their body shape. I didn't need to see details to know what I was looking at. In fact, I had adapted so well that I didn't even know I needed glasses.
Well, that statement may not be completely accurate. I had tried on my dad's glasses when I was twelve and seen more clearly, so I knew in the back of my mind that I had problems with my vision. But, I had no idea of the scope of what I was missing. I performed well in all of my classes and, to my knowledge, my vision didn't prevent me from doing any of the activities that I was interested in doing. I coped very well and relied more heavily on my sense of smell and hearing to tell me what my eyes could not.
In short, I thought I was getting along fine. I didn't have a clue what I was missing because I couldn't conceive of its existence. I could see the leaves shimmering magically in the distance, even though I couldn't see the crisp tremblings of the leaves. I could see the variations in color on the road, like pebbles under the surface of murky water, but I couldn't see the cracks and outlines. I could see the forest, but I couldn't see the trees... and I didn't even know they could be seen.
"I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun - not because I can see it, but by it, I can see everything else." This quote is attributed to C. S. Lewis. I bring it up because I remember another day where I was riding home in the car staring in amazement. Once again, I was seeing things I never knew existed. But I wasn't staring at the road and looking at cracks, I was staring at everything I looked upon. For the second time in my life, a vision impairment I didn't know I had was lifted from my eyes and I saw more clearly. But, the first time the impairment was physical, this time, it was spiritual.
People want proof that God exists. But how do you prove to someone who thinks he, or she, can see fine that they have vision problems unless you put glasses on that person? And God is spiritual glasses. My second restoration of sight was not less stunning than my first. In fact, it was greater because if affected more than just what my eyes could see. You might be asking yourself if my vision, my physical sight was really affected that day that I truly knew God for the first time. And my answer to you is, yes! I can't explain it except to say that colors grew more distinct and bright, and the world regained an amazement for me that I hadn't felt since I was a young child first learning about the wonders of my world. Do you wonder why some Christians are so adamant about their faith, even in the sight of what seems to be overwhelming evidence against God's existence? It's because we have had real proof. I can't share that kind of proof with you, except to tell you about it. But, that doesn't make it any less real. Until you put on God's "glasses", you have no idea what I'm talking about; but, other Christians do.
And, I said that this second restoration of sight affected more than just my physical vision, and that's true and tangible, too. The relationship of everyone and everything to everyone and everything else took on entirely new meaning. That day, you became much more precious to me. Why do Christians persist in trying to share their God with you? Why won't they quit when no one wants to hear what they have to say? Why are they sometimes willing to die to share what they call the "Good News" with the very people who want to kill them? It's because we see you with new eyes and a new heart. It's because we know how precious you are. It's because we know what our life was like without these new eyes and the most selfish and hurtful thing we could possibly do would be to keep this to ourselves and refuse to share the incredible Gift we've been given. If I give everything else I own away to the poor and spend my life serving those who can't take care of themselves, but withhold this knowledge of God for myself, then my life has been meaningless.
Put on the glasses. Accept the gift. Live a life of great meaning.
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13
The next day, when I went to school, I could see people walking far across the courtyard and easily recognize them. I had recognized them before I had glasses, of course. I had managed to adapt wonderfully and learned to recognize people by the way they moved and by their body shape. I didn't need to see details to know what I was looking at. In fact, I had adapted so well that I didn't even know I needed glasses.
Well, that statement may not be completely accurate. I had tried on my dad's glasses when I was twelve and seen more clearly, so I knew in the back of my mind that I had problems with my vision. But, I had no idea of the scope of what I was missing. I performed well in all of my classes and, to my knowledge, my vision didn't prevent me from doing any of the activities that I was interested in doing. I coped very well and relied more heavily on my sense of smell and hearing to tell me what my eyes could not.
In short, I thought I was getting along fine. I didn't have a clue what I was missing because I couldn't conceive of its existence. I could see the leaves shimmering magically in the distance, even though I couldn't see the crisp tremblings of the leaves. I could see the variations in color on the road, like pebbles under the surface of murky water, but I couldn't see the cracks and outlines. I could see the forest, but I couldn't see the trees... and I didn't even know they could be seen.
"I believe in Christ like I believe in the sun - not because I can see it, but by it, I can see everything else." This quote is attributed to C. S. Lewis. I bring it up because I remember another day where I was riding home in the car staring in amazement. Once again, I was seeing things I never knew existed. But I wasn't staring at the road and looking at cracks, I was staring at everything I looked upon. For the second time in my life, a vision impairment I didn't know I had was lifted from my eyes and I saw more clearly. But, the first time the impairment was physical, this time, it was spiritual.
People want proof that God exists. But how do you prove to someone who thinks he, or she, can see fine that they have vision problems unless you put glasses on that person? And God is spiritual glasses. My second restoration of sight was not less stunning than my first. In fact, it was greater because if affected more than just what my eyes could see. You might be asking yourself if my vision, my physical sight was really affected that day that I truly knew God for the first time. And my answer to you is, yes! I can't explain it except to say that colors grew more distinct and bright, and the world regained an amazement for me that I hadn't felt since I was a young child first learning about the wonders of my world. Do you wonder why some Christians are so adamant about their faith, even in the sight of what seems to be overwhelming evidence against God's existence? It's because we have had real proof. I can't share that kind of proof with you, except to tell you about it. But, that doesn't make it any less real. Until you put on God's "glasses", you have no idea what I'm talking about; but, other Christians do.
And, I said that this second restoration of sight affected more than just my physical vision, and that's true and tangible, too. The relationship of everyone and everything to everyone and everything else took on entirely new meaning. That day, you became much more precious to me. Why do Christians persist in trying to share their God with you? Why won't they quit when no one wants to hear what they have to say? Why are they sometimes willing to die to share what they call the "Good News" with the very people who want to kill them? It's because we see you with new eyes and a new heart. It's because we know how precious you are. It's because we know what our life was like without these new eyes and the most selfish and hurtful thing we could possibly do would be to keep this to ourselves and refuse to share the incredible Gift we've been given. If I give everything else I own away to the poor and spend my life serving those who can't take care of themselves, but withhold this knowledge of God for myself, then my life has been meaningless.
Put on the glasses. Accept the gift. Live a life of great meaning.
"You will seek Me and find Me when you search for Me with all your heart." - Jeremiah 29:13
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
What About the Children?
Some of the people I really care about have some real issues with God. Chiefly, that He seems to be unfair. One special young woman once said to me, "Why would He make people knowing that some of them would go to hell?" I think of her all the time and the many things I would like to say, if ever given the chance again. But the most recent question of fairness happened last week in the Sandy Hook school shooting. "Where was God in all this? How could God let this happen? How is this fair or just to these children?"
Well, I tend to be quite long-winded, so I can't really give thorough answers to all those questions here. But I do want to give evidence that God loves and provides for children even when he doesn't appear to care. Specifically, that He has taken care of the children that did not survive the Sandy Hook massacre.
When someone we love dies, that person is lost to us. We no longer see or hear from our loved one. We can't hold him, we can't talk to her, the rhythm of our life is disrupted and we are separated from the one we love. Death seems so final and permanent to us. But this is not the case for God. Death creates an obstacle for us, but it removes one for God. He calls to us in life and, if we accept Him, then when we are absent from the body, we are present with the Lord. As Jesus told the thief on the cross, "I assure you: Today you will be with Me in paradise." (Luke 23:43)
But what about children who have not been raised Christian? Are they condemned to hell?
God's Word, His Message to us, the Bible indicates that children are exceptional and are accepted into Heaven with God. In the words God and Jesus spoke to His people and to us, there appears to be a time when we are young before we are held accountable for knowing the difference between good and evil. There are two clear examples of this "grace" period while we are young. The first occurs after the Exodus, when the Israelites were rescued while in Egypt. God led his people to the promised land, but they sinned greatly against Him, so He refused to let those people enter. This is what He told them through Moses, his prophet and their leader, "None of these men in this evil generation will see the good land I swore to give your fathers except Caleb the son of Jephunneh (and Joshua son of Nun)... Your little children, whom you said would be plunder, your sons who don't know good from evil will enter there. I will give them the land,and they will take possession of it." (Deuteronomy 1:35-39)
The second account occurs in the book of Isaiah in a prophecy about Jesus himself, following some well-known words that we've often heard at Christmas-time. "Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive, have a son, and name him Immanuel. By the time he learns to reject what is bad and choose what is good, he will be eating butter and honey. For before the boy knows to reject what is bad and choose what is good, the land of the two kings you dread will be abandoned." (Isaiah 7:14-16) We don't know much about Jesus' childhood, and we're given no indication as to what kind of child he was until he was 12 and old enough to travel to Jerusalem with his parents for the Passover feast, but we do know that there was a time before he knew "to reject what is bad and choose what is good."
Jesus, Himself, gives us the third glimpse of how God views children and His relationship to children. "Some people were bringing little children to Him so He might touch them, but His disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw it, He was indignant and said to them, 'Let the little children come to Me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' After taking them in His arms, He laid His hands on them and blessed them." (Mark 10:13-16)
What does it mean to not know good from evil and to not know to reject what is bad and choose what is good? God is the ultimate Judge and he is a righteous Judge. (Psalm 50:6) He knows our hearts and we are judged according to our works (Revelation 20) For those who accept the offer that Christ makes to each of us to pay our penalty in exchange for giving our lives to Him, Jesus stands in our place and we are not condemned. But the righteous Judge that is our God has admitted in the past to withholding judgment from those He knows are too young. Where there is no judgement, there is no condemnation. To be condemned by God is to be separated from Him for eternity. And if the children are not separated from God and Jesus, they are with Him.
God is Light, He is Love, and He is Truth. To be with God is to be with Perfect Love and perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) We have not been told everything. God is content to let some mysteries remain mysteries. Yet he has revealed many other mysteries to us and given us enough knowledge of his character, and hints of His plans that we can have confidence in His love and mercy. He does not punish the innocent and the innocent are with Him. Whatever happens in our past, our past is put behind us when we are with Him. He is the great Healer and Comforter. He is the loving and merciful Judge. He is the One Who sent His Son, Our Savior, so that we can share His love forever.
Well, I tend to be quite long-winded, so I can't really give thorough answers to all those questions here. But I do want to give evidence that God loves and provides for children even when he doesn't appear to care. Specifically, that He has taken care of the children that did not survive the Sandy Hook massacre.
When someone we love dies, that person is lost to us. We no longer see or hear from our loved one. We can't hold him, we can't talk to her, the rhythm of our life is disrupted and we are separated from the one we love. Death seems so final and permanent to us. But this is not the case for God. Death creates an obstacle for us, but it removes one for God. He calls to us in life and, if we accept Him, then when we are absent from the body, we are present with the Lord. As Jesus told the thief on the cross, "I assure you: Today you will be with Me in paradise." (Luke 23:43)
But what about children who have not been raised Christian? Are they condemned to hell?
God's Word, His Message to us, the Bible indicates that children are exceptional and are accepted into Heaven with God. In the words God and Jesus spoke to His people and to us, there appears to be a time when we are young before we are held accountable for knowing the difference between good and evil. There are two clear examples of this "grace" period while we are young. The first occurs after the Exodus, when the Israelites were rescued while in Egypt. God led his people to the promised land, but they sinned greatly against Him, so He refused to let those people enter. This is what He told them through Moses, his prophet and their leader, "None of these men in this evil generation will see the good land I swore to give your fathers except Caleb the son of Jephunneh (and Joshua son of Nun)... Your little children, whom you said would be plunder, your sons who don't know good from evil will enter there. I will give them the land,and they will take possession of it." (Deuteronomy 1:35-39)
The second account occurs in the book of Isaiah in a prophecy about Jesus himself, following some well-known words that we've often heard at Christmas-time. "Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive, have a son, and name him Immanuel. By the time he learns to reject what is bad and choose what is good, he will be eating butter and honey. For before the boy knows to reject what is bad and choose what is good, the land of the two kings you dread will be abandoned." (Isaiah 7:14-16) We don't know much about Jesus' childhood, and we're given no indication as to what kind of child he was until he was 12 and old enough to travel to Jerusalem with his parents for the Passover feast, but we do know that there was a time before he knew "to reject what is bad and choose what is good."
Jesus, Himself, gives us the third glimpse of how God views children and His relationship to children. "Some people were bringing little children to Him so He might touch them, but His disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw it, He was indignant and said to them, 'Let the little children come to Me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' After taking them in His arms, He laid His hands on them and blessed them." (Mark 10:13-16)
What does it mean to not know good from evil and to not know to reject what is bad and choose what is good? God is the ultimate Judge and he is a righteous Judge. (Psalm 50:6) He knows our hearts and we are judged according to our works (Revelation 20) For those who accept the offer that Christ makes to each of us to pay our penalty in exchange for giving our lives to Him, Jesus stands in our place and we are not condemned. But the righteous Judge that is our God has admitted in the past to withholding judgment from those He knows are too young. Where there is no judgement, there is no condemnation. To be condemned by God is to be separated from Him for eternity. And if the children are not separated from God and Jesus, they are with Him.
God is Light, He is Love, and He is Truth. To be with God is to be with Perfect Love and perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) We have not been told everything. God is content to let some mysteries remain mysteries. Yet he has revealed many other mysteries to us and given us enough knowledge of his character, and hints of His plans that we can have confidence in His love and mercy. He does not punish the innocent and the innocent are with Him. Whatever happens in our past, our past is put behind us when we are with Him. He is the great Healer and Comforter. He is the loving and merciful Judge. He is the One Who sent His Son, Our Savior, so that we can share His love forever.
Sunday, February 12, 2012
The Redemption of Pain
Pain is an unfortunate part of life, but it is also unavoidable. People who run with all their might find that pain finds them. And those who open their lives to people who are hurting frequently get hurt themselves. Pain even works its way into the midst of healthy loving families and people who have joined together to do good. Churches which strive to follow, live by and share the teachings of the man of love, Christ himself, are full of people who have been hurt by churches that were trying to follow, live by and share the teachings of Christ.
So, what's the point of it all? Why try so hard? If everyone suffers pain, what does it matter how you live?
It matters, because Christ came to redeem our lives. What that means is that He takes what was bad and makes it good. Not only does he change our lives into something better, but he changes our experiences, too. He takes what was meant for evil and uses it for our benefit. This is what redemption is. This is what makes pain in a Christian's life different.
I speak from experience. A few years ago, and I'm going to be intentionally vague so as not to malign anyone, something happened that rocked my Christian world. I was involved in ministry, but struggling deeply with personal difficulties, and something built to the point that it exploded. I was completely shaken. For a few months, I couldn't even go to church for fear that my crying would raise questions I didn't want to have to answer. The situation was bad enough, I didn't want to make it worse. And to complicate matters, I still loved the other people involved and believed that they were doing their best. But we were all stumbling our way through this and hurting each other in the process.
In a few months, I was able to return to church, but those relationships haven't been the same since. And I haven't been the same since. Most notably, I have avoided any serious commitment to ministry and my one attempt at a return failed miserably. Consequently, I have suffered, my family has suffered and those I should have reached out to have suffered.
But, God is in the business of using suffering and he has used it in me. In the time that has passed since the suffering, he has changed me. I was partly responsible for the "something that exploded" because of my attitudes, my pride, and my inability to trust God to work in the situations of life and the people around me. He has softened me, humbled me, and made me more considerate and thoughtful.
Now, he had to make the initial changes with a butcher knife, but He has since changed to the soft polishing cloth and oil. What do I mean? In addition, to putting people in my life who have helped rebuild my confidence and just love me, He has gently shown me what has been preventing me from fully moving forward. One morning a couple of weeks ago, as I was getting ready for church, He revealed to me that I had not really forgiven the other people that were involved: the people who I felt had not seen the real me and had not accepted my attempts to reach out. I had forgiven those involved in the "explosion," but I had not forgiven the misunderstandings that led up to it. And forgiveness is freeing! Before you forgive a person, you still feel the need to "do" something about the wrong. But when you truly forgive, the problem just goes away; that's one less thing on your shoulder.
And then there was this morning. I forgave, but what now? Should I let them know it? Should I contact them? Write a letter? Or keep quiet? And it hit me! Really, I still wanted their understanding. Instead of seeing their lack of understanding as due to their own issues or difficulties at the time, I felt they were holding out from me; that they didn't want to understand. Really, I was still holding them accountable for something I had had to let go of in myself: insensitivity. So, my answer was "no," I didn't need to let them know.
True forgiveness means accepting that whatever in them contributed to the problem is no longer my problem. Were they unable to understand? Then, that was a sad flaw in them that I hope has been remedied just as I hope it has been remedied in me. Were they unwilling to understand? Then, that is a sinful attitude that is God's problem to deal with. Either way, as I release them, I can let it go and my own life will be more meaningful. And whatever the reasons this all happened, I am a better person because they did. The changes in me were needed and I welcome them looking back.
So, yes, pain comes for us all. But it does not need to cripple our spirits. Trust God to work in all situations and relationships and He will... and we will be better for it. And, as Galatians 6:9-10 says, "So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith."
And don't forget, some trees take years to produce good fruit.
So, what's the point of it all? Why try so hard? If everyone suffers pain, what does it matter how you live?
It matters, because Christ came to redeem our lives. What that means is that He takes what was bad and makes it good. Not only does he change our lives into something better, but he changes our experiences, too. He takes what was meant for evil and uses it for our benefit. This is what redemption is. This is what makes pain in a Christian's life different.
I speak from experience. A few years ago, and I'm going to be intentionally vague so as not to malign anyone, something happened that rocked my Christian world. I was involved in ministry, but struggling deeply with personal difficulties, and something built to the point that it exploded. I was completely shaken. For a few months, I couldn't even go to church for fear that my crying would raise questions I didn't want to have to answer. The situation was bad enough, I didn't want to make it worse. And to complicate matters, I still loved the other people involved and believed that they were doing their best. But we were all stumbling our way through this and hurting each other in the process.
In a few months, I was able to return to church, but those relationships haven't been the same since. And I haven't been the same since. Most notably, I have avoided any serious commitment to ministry and my one attempt at a return failed miserably. Consequently, I have suffered, my family has suffered and those I should have reached out to have suffered.
But, God is in the business of using suffering and he has used it in me. In the time that has passed since the suffering, he has changed me. I was partly responsible for the "something that exploded" because of my attitudes, my pride, and my inability to trust God to work in the situations of life and the people around me. He has softened me, humbled me, and made me more considerate and thoughtful.
Now, he had to make the initial changes with a butcher knife, but He has since changed to the soft polishing cloth and oil. What do I mean? In addition, to putting people in my life who have helped rebuild my confidence and just love me, He has gently shown me what has been preventing me from fully moving forward. One morning a couple of weeks ago, as I was getting ready for church, He revealed to me that I had not really forgiven the other people that were involved: the people who I felt had not seen the real me and had not accepted my attempts to reach out. I had forgiven those involved in the "explosion," but I had not forgiven the misunderstandings that led up to it. And forgiveness is freeing! Before you forgive a person, you still feel the need to "do" something about the wrong. But when you truly forgive, the problem just goes away; that's one less thing on your shoulder.
And then there was this morning. I forgave, but what now? Should I let them know it? Should I contact them? Write a letter? Or keep quiet? And it hit me! Really, I still wanted their understanding. Instead of seeing their lack of understanding as due to their own issues or difficulties at the time, I felt they were holding out from me; that they didn't want to understand. Really, I was still holding them accountable for something I had had to let go of in myself: insensitivity. So, my answer was "no," I didn't need to let them know.
True forgiveness means accepting that whatever in them contributed to the problem is no longer my problem. Were they unable to understand? Then, that was a sad flaw in them that I hope has been remedied just as I hope it has been remedied in me. Were they unwilling to understand? Then, that is a sinful attitude that is God's problem to deal with. Either way, as I release them, I can let it go and my own life will be more meaningful. And whatever the reasons this all happened, I am a better person because they did. The changes in me were needed and I welcome them looking back.
So, yes, pain comes for us all. But it does not need to cripple our spirits. Trust God to work in all situations and relationships and He will... and we will be better for it. And, as Galatians 6:9-10 says, "So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith."
And don't forget, some trees take years to produce good fruit.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011
The Lesson of the Fish
Today, one of my sons' friends came over to visit, being off of school for Thanksgiving week. Among the many varied activities they tried, they decided to catch some fish; and they did. They got a net and a hole-less flower pot and scooped some small fish into the pot to bring back to the house. My son and his friend showed his brothers the fish they caught and then moved on to another activity, leaving the little fish in the hole-less flower pot outside.
And they were forgotten.
Then, my husband came home from work and noticed the fish in the pot... and one poor little fish, dead on the cement, who had tried to escape the flower pot and get back in the water. My son said that the fish had really wanted to get back in the ditch. To which I replied that they all wanted to get back to the ditch. But in his attempt to escape, he died. And the thought occurred to me that some of us, myself included, could really learn from the lesson of the fish.
Sometimes, our situation is really bad. Truth be told, if the little fish had stayed in the flower pot, forgotten, he would have eventually died from lack of oxygen. His desire to escape was a valid one. But he didn't wait for rescue, he took matters in his own hands and ended up dead on the sidewalk. His little fish brothers are being returned to the ditch, and life and freedom, as I write. If he had waited, he would have been with them.
So, this is the lesson: Sometimes, when we get tired of waiting on God to save us from our situation, we take matters into our own hands and make our situation worse than before. If we can suffer a little while longer, have just a little more patience and faith, then just maybe we will live long enough to see the sweeter waters God has planned for our future.
And they were forgotten.
Then, my husband came home from work and noticed the fish in the pot... and one poor little fish, dead on the cement, who had tried to escape the flower pot and get back in the water. My son said that the fish had really wanted to get back in the ditch. To which I replied that they all wanted to get back to the ditch. But in his attempt to escape, he died. And the thought occurred to me that some of us, myself included, could really learn from the lesson of the fish.
Sometimes, our situation is really bad. Truth be told, if the little fish had stayed in the flower pot, forgotten, he would have eventually died from lack of oxygen. His desire to escape was a valid one. But he didn't wait for rescue, he took matters in his own hands and ended up dead on the sidewalk. His little fish brothers are being returned to the ditch, and life and freedom, as I write. If he had waited, he would have been with them.
So, this is the lesson: Sometimes, when we get tired of waiting on God to save us from our situation, we take matters into our own hands and make our situation worse than before. If we can suffer a little while longer, have just a little more patience and faith, then just maybe we will live long enough to see the sweeter waters God has planned for our future.
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