What About the Children?

Some of the people I really care about have some real issues with God. Chiefly, that He seems to be unfair. One special young woman once said to me, "Why would He make people knowing that some of them would go to hell?" I think of her all the time and the many things I would like to say, if ever given the chance again. But the most recent question of fairness happened last week in the Sandy Hook school shooting. "Where was God in all this? How could God let this happen? How is this fair or just to these children?"

Well, I tend to be quite long-winded, so I can't really give thorough answers to all those questions here. But I do want to give evidence that God loves and provides for children even when he doesn't appear to care. Specifically, that He has taken care of the children that did not survive the Sandy Hook massacre.

When someone we love dies, that person is lost to us. We no longer see or hear from our loved one. We can't hold him, we can't talk to her, the rhythm of our life is disrupted and we are separated from the one we love. Death seems so final and permanent to us. But this is not the case for God. Death creates an obstacle for us, but it removes one for God. He calls to us in life and, if we accept Him, then when we are absent from the body, we are present with the Lord. As Jesus told the thief on the cross, "I assure you: Today you will be with Me in paradise." (Luke 23:43)

But what about children who have not been raised Christian? Are they condemned to hell?

God's Word, His Message to us, the Bible indicates that children are exceptional and are accepted into Heaven with God. In the words God and Jesus spoke to His people and to us, there appears to be a time when we are young before we are held accountable for knowing the difference between good and evil. There are two clear examples of this "grace" period while we are young. The first occurs after the Exodus, when the Israelites were rescued while in Egypt. God led his people to the promised land, but they sinned greatly against Him, so He refused to let those people enter. This is what He told them through Moses, his prophet and their leader, "None of these men in this evil generation will see the good land I swore to give your fathers except Caleb the son of Jephunneh (and Joshua son of Nun)... Your little children, whom you said would be plunder, your sons who don't know good from evil will enter there. I will give them the land,and they will take possession of it." (Deuteronomy 1:35-39)

The second account occurs in the book of Isaiah in a prophecy about Jesus himself, following some well-known words that we've often heard at Christmas-time. "Therefore, the Lord Himself will give you a sign: The virgin will conceive, have a son, and name him Immanuel. By the time he learns to reject what is bad and choose what is good, he will be eating butter and honey. For before the boy knows to reject what is bad and choose what is good, the land of the two kings you dread will be abandoned." (Isaiah 7:14-16) We don't know much about Jesus' childhood, and we're given no indication as to what kind of child he was until he was 12 and old enough to travel to Jerusalem with his parents for the Passover feast, but we do know that there was a time before he knew "to reject what is bad and choose what is good."

Jesus, Himself, gives us the third glimpse of how God views children and His relationship to children. "Some people were bringing little children to Him so He might touch them, but His disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw it, He was indignant and said to them, 'Let the little children come to Me. Don't stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.' After taking them in His arms, He laid His hands on them and blessed them." (Mark 10:13-16)

What does it mean to not know good from evil and to not know to reject what is bad and choose what is good? God is the ultimate Judge and he is a righteous Judge. (Psalm 50:6) He knows our hearts and we are judged according to our works (Revelation 20) For those who accept the offer that Christ makes to each of us to pay our penalty in exchange for giving our lives to Him, Jesus stands in our place and we are not condemned. But the righteous Judge that is our God has admitted in the past to withholding judgment from those He knows are too young. Where there is no judgement, there is no condemnation. To be condemned by God is to be separated from Him for eternity. And if the children are not separated from God and Jesus, they are with Him.

God is Light, He is Love, and He is Truth. To be with God is to be with Perfect Love and perfect love casts out all fear (1 John 4:18) We have not been told everything. God is content to let some mysteries remain mysteries. Yet he has revealed many other mysteries to us and given us enough knowledge of his character, and hints of His plans that we can have confidence in His love and mercy. He does not punish the innocent and the innocent are with Him. Whatever happens in our past, our past is put behind us when we are with Him. He is the great Healer and Comforter. He is the loving and merciful Judge. He is the One Who sent His Son, Our Savior, so that we can share His love forever.

The Redemption of Pain

Pain is an unfortunate part of life, but it is also unavoidable. People who run with all their might find that pain finds them. And those who open their lives to people who are hurting frequently get hurt themselves. Pain even works its way into the midst of healthy loving families and people who have joined together to do good. Churches which strive to follow, live by and share the teachings of the man of love, Christ himself, are full of people who have been hurt by churches that were trying to follow, live by and share the teachings of Christ.

So, what's the point of it all? Why try so hard? If everyone suffers pain, what does it matter how you live?

It matters, because Christ came to redeem our lives. What that means is that He takes what was bad and makes it good. Not only does he change our lives into something better, but he changes our experiences, too. He takes what was meant for evil and uses it for our benefit. This is what redemption is. This is what makes pain in a Christian's life different.

I speak from experience. A few years ago, and I'm going to be intentionally vague so as not to malign anyone, something happened that rocked my Christian world. I was involved in ministry, but struggling deeply with personal difficulties, and something built to the point that it exploded. I was completely shaken. For a few months, I couldn't even go to church for fear that my crying would raise questions I didn't want to have to answer. The situation was bad enough, I didn't want to make it worse. And to complicate matters, I still loved the other people involved and believed that they were doing their best. But we were all stumbling our way through this and hurting each other in the process.

In a few months, I was able to return to church, but those relationships haven't been the same since. And I haven't been the same since. Most notably, I have avoided any serious commitment to ministry and my one attempt at a return failed miserably. Consequently, I have suffered, my family has suffered and those I should have reached out to have suffered.

But, God is in the business of using suffering and he has used it in me. In the time that has passed since the suffering, he has changed me. I was partly responsible for the "something that exploded" because of my attitudes, my pride, and my inability to trust God to work in the situations of life and the people around me. He has softened me, humbled me, and made me more considerate and thoughtful.

Now, he had to make the initial changes with a butcher knife, but He has since changed to the soft polishing cloth and oil. What do I mean? In addition, to putting people in my life who have helped rebuild my confidence and just love me, He has gently shown me what has been preventing me from fully moving forward. One morning a couple of weeks ago, as I was getting ready for church, He revealed to me that I had not really forgiven the other people that were involved: the people who I felt had not seen the real me and had not accepted my attempts to reach out. I had forgiven those involved in the "explosion," but I had not forgiven the misunderstandings that led up to it. And forgiveness is freeing! Before you forgive a person, you still feel the need to "do" something about the wrong. But when you truly forgive, the problem just goes away; that's one less thing on your shoulder.

And then there was this morning. I forgave, but what now? Should I let them know it? Should I contact them? Write a letter? Or keep quiet? And it hit me! Really, I still wanted their understanding. Instead of seeing their lack of understanding as due to their own issues or difficulties at the time, I felt they were holding out from me; that they didn't want to understand. Really, I was still holding them accountable for something I had had to let go of in myself: insensitivity. So, my answer was "no," I didn't need to let them know.

True forgiveness means accepting that whatever in them contributed to the problem is no longer my problem. Were they unable to understand? Then, that was a sad flaw in them that I hope has been remedied just as I hope it has been remedied in me. Were they unwilling to understand? Then, that is a sinful attitude that is God's problem to deal with. Either way, as I release them, I can let it go and my own life will be more meaningful. And whatever the reasons this all happened, I am a better person because they did. The changes in me were needed and I welcome them looking back.

So, yes, pain comes for us all. But it does not need to cripple our spirits. Trust God to work in all situations and relationships and He will... and we will be better for it. And, as Galatians 6:9-10  says, "So we must not get tired of doing good, for we will reap at the proper time if we don't give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, we must work for the good of all, especially for those who belong to the household of faith."
And don't forget, some trees take years to produce good fruit.