The Education Called Parenthood

On the whole, my children give me unspeakable joy. The great desire of my heart is to lavish gifts on them. I would love nothing more than to be able to give them everything they want. The delight on their faces thrills me in a way nothing else does. I want to give them every freedom and to see them enjoy all the world has to offer. Every fiber of my being longs to withold nothing from them.

But the irony of human nature prevents me from doing this. If I gave them whatever they wanted, they would become monsters. Human nature is, by nature, corrupt. Left to complete freedom, we would leap to selfishness and ferociously guard it. We would take whatever we wanted and give only when it pleased us. This is how we are born and this is how we would remain without compelling reasons to be otherwise.

I don't enjoy disciplining my children. They suffer and I suffer. I would prefer never to have to do it. But love and peace demand that I do it. If I truly want the best for my children, I must take an active role in curbing that selfish nature. I must teach them the way to live at peace with themselves and others, both through gentle instruction and by enforcing consequences. This is the unpleasant truth of life: that children must be disciplined.

Before I became a parent, I did not know the feeling of being forced to play a role out of love that I would never choose to play otherwise. I had previously done hard things, but none that felt this way. Parenthood has been an amazing education for me; an education I could not have envisioned. I learn so many truths about life, the world, human nature, and amazingly, God. I can look at my kids and see much of what God sees when He looks at us. And sometimes, I understand why He does what He does because I have to do the same with them. And this is a truth I discover: God does what He does with us because He is Our Father. We are parents because we have grown in maturity and wisdom and are able to lead and protect our children. He is Our Father because He possesses Maturity and Wisdom and is able to lead, guide, and protect us... and we are to follow His example.

It sometimes strikes me, the similarity between a parent and God. The feeling I had of wanting to give my children everything good is shared with God. He also wants to give us all good things. But He knows the truth of our human nature. He knows that we, like our own children, would become monsters if left without discipline. For this reason, He also must enforce consequences. The truth that we need guidance is not new to me. Even as a child, I recognized pettiness, selfishness, and immaturity in the adults around me. I saw even then, that adults did many things wrong. Being a parent did not teach me that adults made mistakes. What being a parent has taught me is how God feels about that discipline. Having children has taught me just how much He loves us. Knowing my own limitations, I have awe at the thought that He wants to lavish on me gifts far greater than my own limited mind can imagine. This is the great truth that my journey through parenthood has recently revealed to me.

Another great truth came alongside that revelation: God has made a way to overcome the limitation of human nature. While I will never be able to give my children everything, God one day will. Hebrews tells us that "For the joy set before Him, [Jesus] endured the cross." What was that joy? Us. We are that joy. He did not have to be crucified. No one could have laid a finger on Him if He so chose. But, instead, He chose the cross, He chose the future joy, He chose us. Right now, we are limited by human nature. But when we die, when we are resurrected and join Him in the place we know as Heaven, we will no longer be selfish creatures prone to corruption. Jesus overcame our corruption. What an amazing thought: that God created a way to lavish all the gifts He wants on us without fear of what we will become. And what an amazing thought that He will one day shower us with gifts, with blessings.

I sometimes have a hard time understanding heaven. I have difficulty understanding why He would want to do this for us... why He has gone through all this trouble to make a way for us to be in a place like Heaven with Him. I sometimes feel like there must be a "catch," as though somehow Heaven will not be all that we can imagine, that somehow it cannot be as great as it sounds. But being a parent shows me another story. By loving my little ones this much, with the limitations of a wicked human heart, I can glimpse for an instant the amazing love He has for us. If God loves me the way I love my children, and in truth He loves me more than I myself am capable of loving, then Heaven makes perfect sense. In fact, Heaven is brilliant, and God has put a glimpse of it into the heart of a parent.

What an honor I have, to be both a parent and a child of the Father.

Praise God, from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him, all you His heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.

The Written Word

As I was thinking about the last blog I posted, "The Strong Man", I realized that something is lost in just posting the result of my efforts. The real treasure lies in the discovery.

I'm doing a Bible Study right now by Beth Moore, called "Esther." Beth Moore is an excellent Bible teacher. I really enjoy doing her studies, because of their excellent quality. She clearly puts her heart and mind into these and her work shows. But even these well-researched and well-written studies pale compared to the discoveries I make when following my own path. It's exciting, like I'm discovering something new, never before seen. Even when I read a commentary, written evidence that someone has discovered this before me, it doesn't lessen the wonder. It simply validates my discovery.

...And when I discover something, I can't stand not to share it. Just ask anyone who knows me well.

So, I discovered the thrill of Spirit-led personal Bible Study a good while ago and I long to share that. Many of my acquaintances already know this about me. But my most recent thrill is this combining of gospel accounts of events that happened in Jesus life and ministry. Putting them together highlights details I would otherwise miss. Not only that, but examining each account sentence-by-sentence, seeing what information is repeated and what information is unique to each account, and deciding in what order to copy the information and whether or not to repeat certain information, forces me to interact with the written word in such a way that I'm forced to really consider the information that the gospel writers give. Working with Scripture this way is like learning about the properties of clay by mushing it, shaping it, ripping it apart, and sticking it back together. When I'm done, I have a greater understanding of how it works because I've "handled" it. I touch it and it leaves its imprint on me.

Now, I know that in part, I'm particularly suited for this. I love the written word. I worked on my next segment at the dentist office while waiting out my son's appointment. I carefully hand-copied three different versions of the same passage, slowly taking care to make my handwriting clear and even, enjoying the feeling of writing in cursive... a feeling and look that is completely lost in typing. Then, I carefully read over the passages I had lovingly written and began to identify the similarities and make notes on the differences and the light that those differences shed. Yes, I know I am suited to this because I also know that to many people, what I have described above would be considered punish work.

My hope is that I will inspire those who are wired much like I am to interact more deeply with Scripture. But for those who are not wired this way, I hope to share what I have learned by posting what I've studied. This is where I feel I maybe dropped the ball last time. I posted the combined accounts, but not the amazing insight I gained while combining them. So, with my next blog, I hope to include both the combined account and the insights and pray that someone will benefit from what I'm excited to share.

Jen

The Strong Man

The third blog I ever wrote was called "Can We Have Peace in the Midst of a Storm?" It was the work of some research I had been doing for a presentation I was giving as a participant in the women's ministry of Northshore Church. For this presentation, I studied the story of Jesus calming the storm. Each of the three Gospels that record the story provide unique insight into the event and I wanted to find a way to combine all the details to get a clearer and more complete understanding of what happened. So I examined each account and merged the three retellings as best as I could, keeping as much of the original language as would not be overly repetitive and yet would continue to make sense. The result of that work can be read here.

What I found when I joined the stories absolutely fascinated me. I wanted to go through the Gospels and do the same thing with every story I found retold in two or more places. However, I didn't actually do this again until recently, when a dream inspired me to once again research a particular event. I relived the same fascination doing this work that I had when I researched the calming of the storm. Because of this, I hope to do this at least once a week and, maybe, post the result.

I hope you find this as interesting as I do.

Jen

BINDING THE STRONG MAN
Matthew 12; Mark 3; Luke 11

Then He (Jesus) went home, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat. When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”

Then a demon-possessed man who was blind and unable to speak was brought to Him. Now He was driving out a demon that was mute. When the demon came out, the man who had been mute, spoke, and the crowds were amazed. He healed him, so that the man could both speak and see. And all the crowds were astounded and said, “Perhaps this is the Son of David!”

The scribes who had come down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul in Him!” and, “He drives out demons by the ruler of the demons!” When the Pharisees heard this, they said, “The man drives out demons only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons.” And others, as a test, were demanding of Him a sign from heaven.

So He summoned them and spoke to them in parables. Knowing their thoughts, He told them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is headed for destruction, and no city or house divided against itself will stand, and a house divided against itself falls. If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rebels against himself and is divided, he cannot stand but is finished! For you say I drive out demons by Beelzebul. And if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, who is it your sons drive them out by? For this reason they will be your judges. If I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you.”

“How can someone enter a strong man’s house and steal his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. But when one stronger than he attacks and overpowers him, he takes from him all his weapons he trusted in, and divides up his plunder. No one can enter a strong man’s house and rob his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can and will rob his house.”

“Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters. Because of this, I tell you, people will be forgiven every sin and blasphemy, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. I assure you: People will be forgiven for all sins and whatever blasphemies they may blaspheme. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin. Whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the one to come.” because they were saying, “He has an unclean spirit.”

Posts

I find it interesting that I can never tell which blogs I post will generate comments and which will not. Oddly enough, the blogs I post that really feel like they cost me something generate no comments.

I'm not sure what this means.

Either A: no one reads my blogs, B: no one finds the above-referenced blogs (the ones that cost me emotionally) interesting, or C: no one wants "to go there."

Anyway, as a blogger (a very intermittent blogger), I'm not really sure what to with this? Do I stop writing those particular kinds of entries? Or does someone out there, who doesn't want to be known, get something out of those entries (even if it's just to see how odd I am)? Or do I need anyone to read these at all?

Of course, I do write with the hope that someone will read. After all, I have a diary for what I don't want read and I certainly don't need to blog at all.

I guess I long for connection. After all, being a stay-at-home/homeschooling/business owning mom keeps me busy enough to have a non-existent (well, almost) social life.

(Sigh)

...Till my next installment of the continuing battle with my need for approval...

Tuesday, May 1, 2001

Tuesday, May 1, 2001

"They say I am
But I am not

Failure
Unequipped
Psychotic I am
Strong I am not

Weak
Hapless
Stupid I am
Well I am not

Tired
Lazy
Mean I am
Good I am not

Wife
Teacher
Mother I am
Human I am not

Some things cannot be said, some things are best not said, and some things won't be said. Am I growing? I am certainly suffering pains. Why do I not learn? Why do I grow tougher with each trial, instead of wiser? Knowing is not enough. the ignorant man can be excused. I cannot.

Why fight a losing battle? I can't win. Slave is my birthright. I was born in chains I could not yet feel. Now that I can feel them, I have grown too big to shrug them off.

What good do two selfish people give the world or each other? Why do I not change instead of stretching my limits?

Where would I go? I would come right back. I would walk out of one prison and into another. There is no freedom in life. I made my chains, why not like them?

I don't think I can be happy. I always find something wrong. Why did I bring a baby into my miserable existence and just how am I going to **** him up?

He deserves better parents."

Wanting to record a dream into my diary, I came across some words that drew me to this entry. I don't often remember how this felt. Truly, our minds strive to remember the good times and forget the bad. For this reason, I am so glad that I, at least occasionally, record my journey in a diary. I can look back and see where I was in relation to where I am.

I have been set free.

Life isn't easy. "Our lives last seventy years or, if we are strong, eighty years. Even the best of them are struggle and sorrow; indeed, they pass quickly and we fly away." (Psalm 90:10) Even today, I face challenges that seem so far beyond my capabilities. But since I met Christ, I am wiser and tougher. I am less ignorant than I was then, but no longer bear such guilt. I am not fighting a losing battle I cannot win, I am fighting a winning battle I cannot lose.

Yes, I was born into slavery, but I have been purchased out of that and adopted as a daughter. I have traded my chains for the yoke of Christ, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. My husband and I have been changed and do give to the world and we have found the freedom in this life that I didn't believe existed.

...And I know happiness.

Thank you, my Jesus, for taking me as yours and giving my children better parents.

[So Jesus said the the Jews who had believed in Him, "If you continue in My word, you really are My disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)]

...And for the record,...

[John 8:33-35 "We are descendants of Abraham," they answered Him, "and we have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say, 'You will become free'?" Jesus responded, "I assure you: Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in the household forever, but a son does remain forever. Therefore if the Son sets you free, you really will be free."]

Shared Liberation

A quote I got from Sara Groves blog that just seems to resonate with me:

"If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together. - Aboriginal activists group, Queensland, 1970s

Wow! Who, needing help, really wants to be "less" than his helper? And who, giving help, should feel greater than the one he is helping? But the brotherhood of being liberated with the one you are liberating... and being liberated with the one who is liberating you... that is beautiful!

The Dumbing Down of Jennifer Landeche

Somebody told me I made them feel stupid. He said, "You know, other teachers, they may know like way up here, but they make you feel like they only know a little more than you do."

If he was the first person to tell me this, I would say like "So what!" But he's not. He's like the 2nd or 3rd person to tell me that this year.

So, I've made my mind. For the next 30 or so years of my life, starting today August 26, 2009, I'm making a New Year's Revolution. I'm gonna try really really hard...

to be dumber!

Anybody got any hints?

Cannibals

For those of you who don't have children, let me share a little of mine...

So, my husband Steve and my oldest, Stephen, were sitting on the sofa watching King Kong. For some reason they started talking about the natives and Stephen told Steve that they were cannibals.

Steve, being Steve, said, "What do you mean, candles?"

Stephen replied, "Not candles, CANNIBALS."

My husband then asked, "What are cannibals?"

To which my 8 year old, having seen too many old Tarzan movies, explained, "You know, those black people who like to eat white people."

...

What would life be without kids?

Motherhood

Usually, we just tell Seth to go get "in his spot" and take his nap and he is good enough to listen without complaining (too much). Other times, however, he wants company and sometimes it just feels good to lay down with him.

Today was one of those days.

I wasn't particularly tired today, but I just wanted to lay down and hold him. He is growing so fast and, as much as I want to see him grow into a man, I want to keep him sweet and little. So, I layed down with him and held him in my arms.

As I put my face next to his skin, and breathed in the smell of a toddler who has played in the sun, I thought back to the first time the smell of my child was extremely significant to me. During my second pregnancy, I wondered how alike or how different my second son would be. Would they look alike, would they act alike? Would they love each other, would they hate each other? Would I be able to love them both... and love them equally? I was so afraid that we would not be able to handle these issues. After all, I was an only child, and my husband rarely speaks to his brother. But, as soon as they put Austin in my arms, I was shocked. He smelled... just... like... Stephen!

I'll never forget that moment. It was the first time that I ever realized there was something that made us, as a family, different. Odd as it sounds, we smell alike. But as we grow as a family, I realize it's not just the smell. Since we have brought in a new family member, someone who is not blood, I realize that there are so many ways we are alike. We have a family culture, habits, preferences, ways of relating to each other and handling new things that come along. My children are each quite different, but they, and we, are linked by things that identify us as "family"; things no one can change or take away from us.

But back to Seth's naptime. I love watching his little fingers. Seth, like many children, loves to feel soft things. He has two silky blankets that he sleeps with... and sometimes drags around. But he likes anything silky, and tags on clothing will do just fine when his blankies are not around.

His hands are beautiful. Pudgy, but long, little fingers that gently caress the blanket. Fingers that work back and forth as little fingertips enjoy the softness between them. Dimples that come and go as knuckles flex and extend. And sometimes, he takes his little hand and rubs it across my arm. Back and forth, my forearm feels as soft and warm to him as his little hand feels to me. I know that one day soon, I will miss this intimacy.

As I watched the gentle blue light coming through his curtains and falling onto the soft skin of his face, I wondered if God sees us this way. Does He look at us and see the vulnerable beauty that I see in the baby face before me? In our weakness and scars, does he see the same small body needing protection and heart needing love that I see in my little one lying down for his nap? If God loves me, all the time, with a love greater than the love I feel for my children at moments like these, then what do I have to fear and what do I have to look forward to? As I try to think of the words to write to express that sentiment, of a love my heart can't even imagine, I'm not sure those words exist. I only taste it in moments like these; before the waking world steals the feeling away. Before life and responsibility come in and fill my mind with distractions, smothering the love in which I wish I could remain.

I desperately want to see my children grow up... and at times I try to rush the process. But I truly hate the thought of it. I really love them as they are now; not perfect or perfectly obedient, but each beautiful and still innocent in his own way. I think that maybe I'll be able to enjoy them at each stage of their lives. Each stage brings its own joys and sorrows. But I'll desperately miss them as babies and toddlers.

I do have hope, however. The future of a parent is to become a grandparent. When I can no longer gently kiss my sons' baby skin and smell their baby smell, I can look forward to the soft tiny body of a grandchild. May all my daughters-in-law love me as a mother; and I, them, as a daughter. May God grant me many grandchildren to kiss, and sing to, and take naps with. Thank you, God, for giving me more children than I ever thought I wanted. What would I have done, or been, without them.

Seth's Calling?

A little while ago, Seth told me, "Bye Mommie! I'm leaving!"

"Where are you going?" I asked him.

"To church," he said.

"What are you going to do at church?" I asked.

"Work," he replied.

Noticing he had his little drum/small instrument carrier over his shoulder, I asked him, "Are you going to play music at church?"

Nodding his head, he answered, "Mmm Hmm."

Then, he said "Bye Bye" again and proceeded to walk over to the keyboard, sit down, and start playing.



Look out, Kalon!

Terrifying Holiness

My mind was wandering this morning as I thought about feminine beauty and the pitfalls that those who possess it can fall into. For some reason, Angelina Jolie came to mind and I began to think about the movie roles she has played. Over the years, she has played a number of roles where she is a woman acting in a typically male capacity. She is the female Indiana Jones in the Lara Croft role or she is a hunter as in the movie Wanted. I find it interesting that these kinds of female characters usually have a very cavalier attitude towards sex as well, as though being strong means treating sex as if it doesn't matter.

As I pondered this, I thought about heroines of the past; women who filled a masculine role in society, such as Queen Elizabeth or Joan of Arc. These women were associated with virginity. Their abstinence made them more powerful to the human mind. The Greek Goddess Artemis (Diana in Rome), the virgin hunter, was frightening. One of the myths tells of a prince named Actaeon who happened to catch sight of her taking a bath. She was so furious that she turned him into a stag and his own hounds tore him to pieces. Other myths about her show a similar fierceness in her reaction to threats to her purity or the purity of her attendants.

I had always found Artemis the least likable of the Greek/Roman gods, and now I think I know why. She had no need for human (or divine) love. Her judgments were quick and decisive. She existed completely independently of us. It was this, her holiness, that made her so frightening. By contrast, Zeus, the king of the gods, was not like this. He may have been much more powerful that Artemis, but he craved human love. He also feared the wrath of his wife and snuck around to fulfill his needs. Zeus' sexuality made him weak. How much more fearful would he have been if he had not "needed" human beings?

This is God's holiness: He is completely pure and does not need human beings. He exists completely independently from us. We cannot change his mind, we are not his counselors, we cannot sway Him or influence Him. He does not need what we can give. And no human argument can possibly distract Him from executing exact and divine justice and divine justice requires the death of every one of us. It is God's holiness that makes Him terrifying.

But He also loves us. We have a God who is terrifyingly holy, yet loves us and wants a relationship with us. So, rather than immediately executing that divine justice, He delays it, and gives us a way out. Jesus said, "I am the door. If anyone enters by me, he will be saved." God provided a way for us to escape divine judgment in Christ Jesus, but he only gave us one way out. As reasoning human beings, we want to convince Him otherwise. We want Him to make concessions and allow us to escape in other ways, but He is holy. He doesn't give us the opportunity. He formed a plan in the beginning, a divine plan, and He will not accept any human alteration or alternative to His plan. But to everyone who accepts His plan, who opens the door, He says, "I will come in and dine with him and he with Me."

Do you think this is unfair? If you do, you're right. Fairness would require that we all face eternal death because we have all turned away from Him. He did not offer His Son on the cross out of fairness, but out of mercy. It is out of mercy that He has given us one way, because justice demands no escape. But God told Moses, "I will have mercy on whom I have mercy." And He offers that mercy to us.

Have I sounded harsh? If I have, I apologize. I did not intend to offend anyone, I have just simply worked through my thoughts. The holiness of God is a difficult concept and I don't think I've seen it as clearly before as I did this morning, thinking about the Greek goddess Artemis. But as soon as it becomes clear how little God needs us, it is all the more amazing that He wants us and has provided a way for us, his disobedient children, to return to His Love. So I echo King David by saying, "What is man that you remember him, and the son of man that you look after him?"

Oh Lord, our Lord, how magnificent is your name in all the earth!

If...

IF

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With 60 second's worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

- Rudyard Kipling

Absent From the Body, Present With Christ

This week, my oldest son Stephen (8 yrs.) had to write a scene from a play. He chose to write a play based on a biblical scene. In writing the play, Stephen had a revelation about death. But before I throw in my 2 cents, the scene is short, so here it is:

Nebuchadnezzar: Maybe you didn't hear me? Next time you hear the trumpet sound you will bow down to my statue and honor it!

Abednego: No way, I don't have to listen to you, my GOD is my only god.

Meshach: My GOD can save us from this fire but even if he doesn't, we won't bow down to your statue.

Nebuchadnezzar: Seize them! Make the furnace seven times hotter than normal and throw them in!

(In they go)
Shadrach: Thank you GOD we are not burning!

Abednego: It's not even hot in here!

Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego: Who is that? It's the son of GOD!

Jesus: You will be greatly blessed because you had faith in me, honored me, even if it would have cost you your life.

Meshach: We thank you for protecting us, loving us, and for all you do for us.

Shadrach: Will we go to heaven today?

Jesus: No, not yet, I still have work for you here on earth.

Nebuchadnezzar: Did I not send three men to the furnace?

Servant: Yes, Lord.

Nebuchadnezzar: I see four and one is like the son of GOD! Get them out now!

(Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego are standing before the king)

Nebuchadnezzar: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, your god is truly GOD, if anyone does not honor him, he will be burned in the furnace.

THE END

As he wrote this scene, Stephen burst into excitement at the realization that if they had died in the fire, they would have been with Christ in heaven. He immediately wanted to go there himself! But my mom pointed out to him, that just like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, God still has work for him to be done here on earth. But what Stephen has learned is one of the most beautiful truths of the Christian life; death is not something to be feared, but to be anticipated.

I know that to some of you this will seem rather morbid. But human beings generally have three categories of fear: pain, hardship, and death. For Stephen, and for all who embrace Jesus Christ, death should no longer be a source of fear. I don't want my children to suffer, and I can't even begin to express how comforting and exciting it is to me as a mother that Stephen will have no fear of death. One of the great handicaps of life has been removed from his heart because he realized the truth that Jesus "shared in the same, that through death He might... release those who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage." So I quote on behalf of Stephen, "O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?" !!!

Of course, Christ offers to remove all fear from us, including the fear of pain and hardship. For as the apostle John says, "perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." So I look forward to watching Stephen and his brothers "realize" these additional truths as they grow in "wisdom and stature." What a privilege it is to be given charge over my young brothers in Christ!

I sometimes worry that I will not be able to teach my sons what they need to know to face the world on their own. The most profound truths cannot be understood by the mind that is not ready to hear them. What an incredible blessing to see evidence that I have underestimated my son and my God! If they leave my house with nothing else, I pray that they will leave with a deep, sustaining relationship with God. A relationship that is independent of me. Blessedly, a relationship that has already begun.

Bible Verses quoted in this blog:
Hebrews 2:14-15
1 Corinthians 15:55
1 John 4:18
John 16:33

My Great God

Wednesday night, I told everyone at our Bible Study what a blessing it is to yourself and others when you share how God speaks to you. Well, I must say that it is also a blessing to share how God works in your life. So, I'm going to brag on my God for a bit. Many of you know how difficult this year has been for us financially. Work has been too slow and, when you own your own business, that means you starve (in a way). Well, this is our slow season, work has been almost nonexistent and our savings have dried up. But we have been trusting God.

It hasn't been easy trusting God. But we have decided this winter that, come what may, we would we would enjoy life, have faith that God will provide, and not let our situation prevent us from doing the things we should be doing. Did I say enjoy life? I mean it. That is what is different this winter. We had a choice; we could be broke and miserable or we could be broke and happy. We have chosen "happy."

So, last week in church, I told God that I would not let anything prevent me from doing what He wanted me to do (meaning I would not allow myself to get depressed and shut down). That night, Austin busted his head. It wasn't a big deal because, as any mother of young boys knows, these things happen. But when I took him to the ER, thinking I had LACHIP (Louisiana's Children's insurance program), I had the unpleasant experience of learning that it had expired regardless of the fact that it was issued January 28, 2008. Now, we didn't qualify this past year because our income was too high, even though we could not afford health insurance. So, the very same day I make a commitment not to get too upset, we get a brand new ER bill... and those aren't cheap. But I wasn't too worried about it. I am hoping that when I do our taxes, we will qualify again this year and they will pay us back for this trip.

But all this information was to set the backdrop for what happened yesterday. Now, God has never let us down. We have been broke and had a few bills bounce, but we have never missed a meal, and still own our house and business. Nevertheless, going into February, we don't yet have the money to pay our house note and I'm not sure we will be able to cover the bills which are automatically withdrawn from our accounts. As of today, it will take all that we have in our accounts not to lose our business insurance and hopefully not to bounce anything this week coming. I tell you this to say that we have nothing available for emergencies or extras and will be eating what's in our cabinet until a few of our clients pay us. So Wednesday night, when Seth sounded hoarse and had some chest congestion, I prayed a little prayer to keep him healthy enough not to have breathing problems. He's been on breathing treatments before and I really didn't want to face the situation of choosing whether to keep him home and take our chances when I knew he should go to the doctor or borrowing money I would have little chance of being able to pay back anytime soon.

Seth slept well Wednesday night, but Thursday morning when he coughed, he undeniably had the croup. Croup gets significantly worse at night and nothing is scarier than a little one who can't breathe. I knew we had to do something before nighttime came or we might be looking at another trip to the ER. We searched for croup medecine (a steroid is the only thing that helps with croup) and found some, but it expired in February 2007. I couldn't take the chance. At that moment, I knew we had to see the doctor... and I knew we couldn't pay for it. I sat down at the desk and stared at the phone, desperately searching for a way, and knowing there wasn't one. I had done so well trusting God through all the troubles we had faced this winter, but at this one, I stumbled. I cannot tell you what it's like to have a child sick with a potentially life-threatening illness and no money for a doctor. It is the most heart sickening feeling I have felt. I knew it would work out somehow, we would certainly borrow money before we would let our children suffer, but facing that decision alone is crushing. And I felt crushed.

But our God is the God who provides. He is the one who performs miracles. He fed 5 thousand with 5 loaves, he paid taxes with a coin from a fish's mouth, and he gave a widow an endless supply of oil from one little oil jug. He did miracles then and He does miracles now. My mom went outside to put mail in the mailbox, picked up the newspaper and saw something lying in the street by the golf course. She went to investigate it and brought to me a $100 bill. I took that $100 bill and Seth to the doctor's office. The doctor charged us $20 for the visit and gave us his medecine from samples she had. We now have $80 overflowing. What a mighty God we serve.

Do you not know my God? This might look to you like a coincidence, but I ask you how many coincidences would it take to convince you that this was no coincidence? I have seen so many. My life is full of these "coincidences." They do not always involve money, but they always involve meeting needs, mine or those I love. He says, "When you search for me with all your heart, you will find me." (In the book of Jeremiah, chapter 29) This the work of my God; and I just had to brag on Him.

Milk and Honey Spa Notes

Why Milk and Honey?

God calls Israel the “land flowing with milk and honey” 16 times

God specifically chose MILK and HONEY

Flowing with Milk
•Well-fed, multiplying livestock
• New life
• Nurturing, safety
• Nourishing
• Prosperity for the livestock owner

Flowing with Honey
• Beautiful flowers
• Sweet fruit trees
• Fertile grasslands
• Desserts and delicacies

Science is teaching us more about the beneficial properties of milk and honey
• Throughout Genesis 1, God declared what he made good
• Renewed interest in natural healing and beauty products

What we see is a shadow of spiritual reality
Each of these substances also has spiritual significance

Olive oil

Beneficial Qualities
• Absorbs UV radiation
• Efficient in lowering the metabolism rate of body cells
• High in antioxidants, including vitamin E
• Helps relieve itch, stings and bites
• Heals dry brittle nails and softens cuticles
• Conditions and adds shine to hair
• Great make-up remover

Spiritual significance
• An ingredient in the sacred anointing oil (Exodus 30:22-33)
• Anointing oil foreshadowed the coming anointing of the Holy Spirit
• Saul (1 Samuel 10) and David (1 Samuel 16:12-14)
• The lampstand – olive oil (Leviticus 24:1-4)
• We are the light of the world (Matthew 5:14 – compare with John 8:12; 9:5)

Honey

Beneficial Qualities
• Honey is a humectant
• An anti-irritant
• Has anti-bacterial and healing properties
• Has sun-blocking properties

Spiritual significance
• The Word of the Lord
• Ezekiel (Ezekiel 3:3) and John (Revelation 10:10) ate the scroll
• David called the word “sweeter than honey” in Ps. 119:103
• How sweet are Your words to my taste Yes, sweeter than honey to my mouth!

Milk

Beneficial Qualities
• contains Vitamins A and D, which helps to make your skin soft, yet strong
• lactic acid in milk has natural beta hydroxy acids which not only exfoliate your skin, but soothe it
• adds essential moisture to your skin
• it seals up the small scales on your hair follicles that can cause hair to look dull

Spiritual significance
• The Word of the Lord
• 1 Peter 2:2 “Therefore, putting aside all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.”

Salts

Spiritual significance
• The Covenant of God and Israel
• Leviticus 2:13 “Every grain offering of yours, moreover, you shall season with salt, so that the salt of the covenant of your God shall not be lacking from your grain offering; with all your offerings you shall offer salt.”
• 2 Chronicles 13:5 “Do you not know that the LORD God of Israel gave the rule over Israel forever to David and his sons by a covenant of salt?”
• Jesus says, “You are the salt of the earth” and “Have salt in yourselves and be at peace with one another.

Holy Blue

How important is color to God? If you have done Beth Moore's "Believing God" Bible Study, then you already know that He values blue... you wore it for 12 weeks on your wrist in response to Numbers 15:37-41, "to look at, so that you will remember all the LORD's commands and obey them." But why blue? I would like to share with you what I learned today.

The history program I am doing with the kids, Tapestry of Grace, lists internet links for the time periods, people, and topics we study. Today, we were studying the Phoenicians and I saw a link called Fringes and Snails. I had to check it out, curious as to how it related to the Phoenicians. For once, I am going to give you the highlights and refer you to the site itself for more information.

Apparently, the Phoenicians were traders in blue dye derived from, what else, sea snails. These same snails also produced the royal purple dye worn by kings and noblemen. Because the process to extract the dye from the (small) snails was difficult and time-consuming, the dye was very expensive and this was a very lucrative trade. Very few people could afford this dye. Yet, God commanded the Israelites to weave this very rich cloth into their tassles.

Before I give you more information on the dye itself, which is fascinating and exciting, I would like to tell you what I learned about the significance of the tassles. Let me make it clear that I am taking my information from the Fringes and Snails website. That being said... here is the breakdown.

Ancient fringes represented the status, or position in society, of the man wearing the fringe. A number of Bible verses reference the hem or fringe of the a man's garment as being significant: from David cutting off the hem of Saul's robe (as a sign of David replacing Saul's place in society) to Jesus saying that the Pharisees lengthened their tassles (as a sign of hypocrisy). And while we have the ancient example of Ruth asking Boaz to cover her with his cloak, we have the modern example of the Jewish bridegroom covering his bride with his prayer shawl.

When God commanded the Jews to weave this special blue cloth into their tassels, he was ordaining a visual sign of the special status that the Jew has with God.

Now, of course, me being the skeptic that I am, I know nothing about the author of Fringes and Snails
and I decided to do some further searches, until I came to a website called "The Association for the Promotion and Distribution of Tekhelet" Tekhelet is the name of the color produced from the special dye. Apparently, the art of making this dye was lost a few hundred years after the birth of Christ, when the Roman emperor made it illegal for anyone but royalty to wear the color. Since the 1800's, the Jews have been trying to identify the animal that produced the dye and recreate the cloth, which they have not worn in over a thousand years because they would not wear a substitute blue. About 20 years ago, they successfully reproduced the dye and have begun creating and distributing Tekhelet yarn and tassles. This is significant for them because many Jews believe that the revival of the Tekhelet yard is a sign that the Messiah is coming (not to mention that there EXISTS a national Israel).

They have produced a video showing how they make the yarn. They do it the ancient way because they want the yarn to be pure and holy, so they shear the sheep, dye the wool, and spin the yarn by hand. The videos are fascinating to watch.

But before I show you the videos, I would like to address what this means to us, the Christian. Obviously, we anxiously wait for the Messiah and anything that restores into practice something God commanded His people to do is exciting for us, as well as for the Jews. But there is a lesson for us here, as well. In the first video, a gentleman says that, for the Jews, wearing the tassle with the royal heavenly blue (the blue was the color of the heavens), reminded them that they were not poor. That whatever their physical status was, they were priests and kings... every single one of them. 1 Peter 2:9 says that, "you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for His possession." We now carry that banner.

Imagine... when the woman with the issue of blood strained only to touch Jesus' tassle, it was woven with blue, signifying His priestly kingship... and she knew that. Now, we continue the work the Son of God began.

Enjoy the videos...

The Mystery of Tekhelet, Part 1 of 3:


The Mystery of Tekhelet, Part 2 of 3:


The Mystery of Tekhelet, Part 3 of 3: