The Written Word

As I was thinking about the last blog I posted, "The Strong Man", I realized that something is lost in just posting the result of my efforts. The real treasure lies in the discovery.

I'm doing a Bible Study right now by Beth Moore, called "Esther." Beth Moore is an excellent Bible teacher. I really enjoy doing her studies, because of their excellent quality. She clearly puts her heart and mind into these and her work shows. But even these well-researched and well-written studies pale compared to the discoveries I make when following my own path. It's exciting, like I'm discovering something new, never before seen. Even when I read a commentary, written evidence that someone has discovered this before me, it doesn't lessen the wonder. It simply validates my discovery.

...And when I discover something, I can't stand not to share it. Just ask anyone who knows me well.

So, I discovered the thrill of Spirit-led personal Bible Study a good while ago and I long to share that. Many of my acquaintances already know this about me. But my most recent thrill is this combining of gospel accounts of events that happened in Jesus life and ministry. Putting them together highlights details I would otherwise miss. Not only that, but examining each account sentence-by-sentence, seeing what information is repeated and what information is unique to each account, and deciding in what order to copy the information and whether or not to repeat certain information, forces me to interact with the written word in such a way that I'm forced to really consider the information that the gospel writers give. Working with Scripture this way is like learning about the properties of clay by mushing it, shaping it, ripping it apart, and sticking it back together. When I'm done, I have a greater understanding of how it works because I've "handled" it. I touch it and it leaves its imprint on me.

Now, I know that in part, I'm particularly suited for this. I love the written word. I worked on my next segment at the dentist office while waiting out my son's appointment. I carefully hand-copied three different versions of the same passage, slowly taking care to make my handwriting clear and even, enjoying the feeling of writing in cursive... a feeling and look that is completely lost in typing. Then, I carefully read over the passages I had lovingly written and began to identify the similarities and make notes on the differences and the light that those differences shed. Yes, I know I am suited to this because I also know that to many people, what I have described above would be considered punish work.

My hope is that I will inspire those who are wired much like I am to interact more deeply with Scripture. But for those who are not wired this way, I hope to share what I have learned by posting what I've studied. This is where I feel I maybe dropped the ball last time. I posted the combined accounts, but not the amazing insight I gained while combining them. So, with my next blog, I hope to include both the combined account and the insights and pray that someone will benefit from what I'm excited to share.

Jen

The Strong Man

The third blog I ever wrote was called "Can We Have Peace in the Midst of a Storm?" It was the work of some research I had been doing for a presentation I was giving as a participant in the women's ministry of Northshore Church. For this presentation, I studied the story of Jesus calming the storm. Each of the three Gospels that record the story provide unique insight into the event and I wanted to find a way to combine all the details to get a clearer and more complete understanding of what happened. So I examined each account and merged the three retellings as best as I could, keeping as much of the original language as would not be overly repetitive and yet would continue to make sense. The result of that work can be read here.

What I found when I joined the stories absolutely fascinated me. I wanted to go through the Gospels and do the same thing with every story I found retold in two or more places. However, I didn't actually do this again until recently, when a dream inspired me to once again research a particular event. I relived the same fascination doing this work that I had when I researched the calming of the storm. Because of this, I hope to do this at least once a week and, maybe, post the result.

I hope you find this as interesting as I do.

Jen

BINDING THE STRONG MAN
Matthew 12; Mark 3; Luke 11

Then He (Jesus) went home, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat. When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”

Then a demon-possessed man who was blind and unable to speak was brought to Him. Now He was driving out a demon that was mute. When the demon came out, the man who had been mute, spoke, and the crowds were amazed. He healed him, so that the man could both speak and see. And all the crowds were astounded and said, “Perhaps this is the Son of David!”

The scribes who had come down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul in Him!” and, “He drives out demons by the ruler of the demons!” When the Pharisees heard this, they said, “The man drives out demons only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons.” And others, as a test, were demanding of Him a sign from heaven.

So He summoned them and spoke to them in parables. Knowing their thoughts, He told them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is headed for destruction, and no city or house divided against itself will stand, and a house divided against itself falls. If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rebels against himself and is divided, he cannot stand but is finished! For you say I drive out demons by Beelzebul. And if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, who is it your sons drive them out by? For this reason they will be your judges. If I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you.”

“How can someone enter a strong man’s house and steal his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. But when one stronger than he attacks and overpowers him, he takes from him all his weapons he trusted in, and divides up his plunder. No one can enter a strong man’s house and rob his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can and will rob his house.”

“Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters. Because of this, I tell you, people will be forgiven every sin and blasphemy, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. I assure you: People will be forgiven for all sins and whatever blasphemies they may blaspheme. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin. Whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the one to come.” because they were saying, “He has an unclean spirit.”

Posts

I find it interesting that I can never tell which blogs I post will generate comments and which will not. Oddly enough, the blogs I post that really feel like they cost me something generate no comments.

I'm not sure what this means.

Either A: no one reads my blogs, B: no one finds the above-referenced blogs (the ones that cost me emotionally) interesting, or C: no one wants "to go there."

Anyway, as a blogger (a very intermittent blogger), I'm not really sure what to with this? Do I stop writing those particular kinds of entries? Or does someone out there, who doesn't want to be known, get something out of those entries (even if it's just to see how odd I am)? Or do I need anyone to read these at all?

Of course, I do write with the hope that someone will read. After all, I have a diary for what I don't want read and I certainly don't need to blog at all.

I guess I long for connection. After all, being a stay-at-home/homeschooling/business owning mom keeps me busy enough to have a non-existent (well, almost) social life.

(Sigh)

...Till my next installment of the continuing battle with my need for approval...

Tuesday, May 1, 2001

Tuesday, May 1, 2001

"They say I am
But I am not

Failure
Unequipped
Psychotic I am
Strong I am not

Weak
Hapless
Stupid I am
Well I am not

Tired
Lazy
Mean I am
Good I am not

Wife
Teacher
Mother I am
Human I am not

Some things cannot be said, some things are best not said, and some things won't be said. Am I growing? I am certainly suffering pains. Why do I not learn? Why do I grow tougher with each trial, instead of wiser? Knowing is not enough. the ignorant man can be excused. I cannot.

Why fight a losing battle? I can't win. Slave is my birthright. I was born in chains I could not yet feel. Now that I can feel them, I have grown too big to shrug them off.

What good do two selfish people give the world or each other? Why do I not change instead of stretching my limits?

Where would I go? I would come right back. I would walk out of one prison and into another. There is no freedom in life. I made my chains, why not like them?

I don't think I can be happy. I always find something wrong. Why did I bring a baby into my miserable existence and just how am I going to **** him up?

He deserves better parents."

Wanting to record a dream into my diary, I came across some words that drew me to this entry. I don't often remember how this felt. Truly, our minds strive to remember the good times and forget the bad. For this reason, I am so glad that I, at least occasionally, record my journey in a diary. I can look back and see where I was in relation to where I am.

I have been set free.

Life isn't easy. "Our lives last seventy years or, if we are strong, eighty years. Even the best of them are struggle and sorrow; indeed, they pass quickly and we fly away." (Psalm 90:10) Even today, I face challenges that seem so far beyond my capabilities. But since I met Christ, I am wiser and tougher. I am less ignorant than I was then, but no longer bear such guilt. I am not fighting a losing battle I cannot win, I am fighting a winning battle I cannot lose.

Yes, I was born into slavery, but I have been purchased out of that and adopted as a daughter. I have traded my chains for the yoke of Christ, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. My husband and I have been changed and do give to the world and we have found the freedom in this life that I didn't believe existed.

...And I know happiness.

Thank you, my Jesus, for taking me as yours and giving my children better parents.

[So Jesus said the the Jews who had believed in Him, "If you continue in My word, you really are My disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)]

...And for the record,...

[John 8:33-35 "We are descendants of Abraham," they answered Him, "and we have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say, 'You will become free'?" Jesus responded, "I assure you: Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in the household forever, but a son does remain forever. Therefore if the Son sets you free, you really will be free."]