Posts
On the whole, my children give me unspeakable joy. The great desire of my heart is to lavish gifts on them. I would love nothing more than to be able to give them everything they want. The delight on their faces thrills me in a way nothing else does. I want to give them every freedom and to see them enjoy all the world has to offer. Every fiber of my being longs to withold nothing from them.
But the irony of human nature prevents me from doing this. If I gave them whatever they wanted, they would become monsters. Human nature is, by nature, corrupt. Left to complete freedom, we would leap to selfishness and ferociously guard it. We would take whatever we wanted and give only when it pleased us. This is how we are born and this is how we would remain without compelling reasons to be otherwise.
I don't enjoy disciplining my children. They suffer and I suffer. I would prefer never to have to do it. But love and peace demand that I do it. If I truly want the best for my children, I must take an active role in curbing that selfish nature. I must teach them the way to live at peace with themselves and others, both through gentle instruction and by enforcing consequences. This is the unpleasant truth of life: that children must be disciplined.
Before I became a parent, I did not know the feeling of being forced to play a role out of love that I would never choose to play otherwise. I had previously done hard things, but none that felt this way. Parenthood has been an amazing education for me; an education I could not have envisioned. I learn so many truths about life, the world, human nature, and amazingly, God. I can look at my kids and see much of what God sees when He looks at us. And sometimes, I understand why He does what He does because I have to do the same with them. And this is a truth I discover: God does what He does with us because He is Our Father. We are parents because we have grown in maturity and wisdom and are able to lead and protect our children. He is Our Father because He possesses Maturity and Wisdom and is able to lead, guide, and protect us... and we are to follow His example.
It sometimes strikes me, the similarity between a parent and God. The feeling I had of wanting to give my children everything good is shared with God. He also wants to give us all good things. But He knows the truth of our human nature. He knows that we, like our own children, would become monsters if left without discipline. For this reason, He also must enforce consequences. The truth that we need guidance is not new to me. Even as a child, I recognized pettiness, selfishness, and immaturity in the adults around me. I saw even then, that adults did many things wrong. Being a parent did not teach me that adults made mistakes. What being a parent has taught me is how God feels about that discipline. Having children has taught me just how much He loves us. Knowing my own limitations, I have awe at the thought that He wants to lavish on me gifts far greater than my own limited mind can imagine. This is the great truth that my journey through parenthood has recently revealed to me.
Another great truth came alongside that revelation: God has made a way to overcome the limitation of human nature. While I will never be able to give my children everything, God one day will. Hebrews tells us that "For the joy set before Him, [Jesus] endured the cross." What was that joy? Us. We are that joy. He did not have to be crucified. No one could have laid a finger on Him if He so chose. But, instead, He chose the cross, He chose the future joy, He chose us. Right now, we are limited by human nature. But when we die, when we are resurrected and join Him in the place we know as Heaven, we will no longer be selfish creatures prone to corruption. Jesus overcame our corruption. What an amazing thought: that God created a way to lavish all the gifts He wants on us without fear of what we will become. And what an amazing thought that He will one day shower us with gifts, with blessings.
I sometimes have a hard time understanding heaven. I have difficulty understanding why He would want to do this for us... why He has gone through all this trouble to make a way for us to be in a place like Heaven with Him. I sometimes feel like there must be a "catch," as though somehow Heaven will not be all that we can imagine, that somehow it cannot be as great as it sounds. But being a parent shows me another story. By loving my little ones this much, with the limitations of a wicked human heart, I can glimpse for an instant the amazing love He has for us. If God loves me the way I love my children, and in truth He loves me more than I myself am capable of loving, then Heaven makes perfect sense. In fact, Heaven is brilliant, and God has put a glimpse of it into the heart of a parent.
What an honor I have, to be both a parent and a child of the Father.
Praise God, from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him, all creatures here below. Praise Him, all you His heavenly host. Praise Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Thursday, October 29, 2009
The Written Word
As I was thinking about the last blog I posted, "The Strong Man", I realized that something is lost in just posting the result of my efforts. The real treasure lies in the discovery.
I'm doing a Bible Study right now by Beth Moore, called "Esther." Beth Moore is an excellent Bible teacher. I really enjoy doing her studies, because of their excellent quality. She clearly puts her heart and mind into these and her work shows. But even these well-researched and well-written studies pale compared to the discoveries I make when following my own path. It's exciting, like I'm discovering something new, never before seen. Even when I read a commentary, written evidence that someone has discovered this before me, it doesn't lessen the wonder. It simply validates my discovery.
...And when I discover something, I can't stand not to share it. Just ask anyone who knows me well.
So, I discovered the thrill of Spirit-led personal Bible Study a good while ago and I long to share that. Many of my acquaintances already know this about me. But my most recent thrill is this combining of gospel accounts of events that happened in Jesus life and ministry. Putting them together highlights details I would otherwise miss. Not only that, but examining each account sentence-by-sentence, seeing what information is repeated and what information is unique to each account, and deciding in what order to copy the information and whether or not to repeat certain information, forces me to interact with the written word in such a way that I'm forced to really consider the information that the gospel writers give. Working with Scripture this way is like learning about the properties of clay by mushing it, shaping it, ripping it apart, and sticking it back together. When I'm done, I have a greater understanding of how it works because I've "handled" it. I touch it and it leaves its imprint on me.
Now, I know that in part, I'm particularly suited for this. I love the written word. I worked on my next segment at the dentist office while waiting out my son's appointment. I carefully hand-copied three different versions of the same passage, slowly taking care to make my handwriting clear and even, enjoying the feeling of writing in cursive... a feeling and look that is completely lost in typing. Then, I carefully read over the passages I had lovingly written and began to identify the similarities and make notes on the differences and the light that those differences shed. Yes, I know I am suited to this because I also know that to many people, what I have described above would be considered punish work.
My hope is that I will inspire those who are wired much like I am to interact more deeply with Scripture. But for those who are not wired this way, I hope to share what I have learned by posting what I've studied. This is where I feel I maybe dropped the ball last time. I posted the combined accounts, but not the amazing insight I gained while combining them. So, with my next blog, I hope to include both the combined account and the insights and pray that someone will benefit from what I'm excited to share.
Jen
I'm doing a Bible Study right now by Beth Moore, called "Esther." Beth Moore is an excellent Bible teacher. I really enjoy doing her studies, because of their excellent quality. She clearly puts her heart and mind into these and her work shows. But even these well-researched and well-written studies pale compared to the discoveries I make when following my own path. It's exciting, like I'm discovering something new, never before seen. Even when I read a commentary, written evidence that someone has discovered this before me, it doesn't lessen the wonder. It simply validates my discovery.
...And when I discover something, I can't stand not to share it. Just ask anyone who knows me well.
So, I discovered the thrill of Spirit-led personal Bible Study a good while ago and I long to share that. Many of my acquaintances already know this about me. But my most recent thrill is this combining of gospel accounts of events that happened in Jesus life and ministry. Putting them together highlights details I would otherwise miss. Not only that, but examining each account sentence-by-sentence, seeing what information is repeated and what information is unique to each account, and deciding in what order to copy the information and whether or not to repeat certain information, forces me to interact with the written word in such a way that I'm forced to really consider the information that the gospel writers give. Working with Scripture this way is like learning about the properties of clay by mushing it, shaping it, ripping it apart, and sticking it back together. When I'm done, I have a greater understanding of how it works because I've "handled" it. I touch it and it leaves its imprint on me.
Now, I know that in part, I'm particularly suited for this. I love the written word. I worked on my next segment at the dentist office while waiting out my son's appointment. I carefully hand-copied three different versions of the same passage, slowly taking care to make my handwriting clear and even, enjoying the feeling of writing in cursive... a feeling and look that is completely lost in typing. Then, I carefully read over the passages I had lovingly written and began to identify the similarities and make notes on the differences and the light that those differences shed. Yes, I know I am suited to this because I also know that to many people, what I have described above would be considered punish work.
My hope is that I will inspire those who are wired much like I am to interact more deeply with Scripture. But for those who are not wired this way, I hope to share what I have learned by posting what I've studied. This is where I feel I maybe dropped the ball last time. I posted the combined accounts, but not the amazing insight I gained while combining them. So, with my next blog, I hope to include both the combined account and the insights and pray that someone will benefit from what I'm excited to share.
Jen
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
The Strong Man
The third blog I ever wrote was called "Can We Have Peace in the Midst of a Storm?" It was the work of some research I had been doing for a presentation I was giving as a participant in the women's ministry of Northshore Church. For this presentation, I studied the story of Jesus calming the storm. Each of the three Gospels that record the story provide unique insight into the event and I wanted to find a way to combine all the details to get a clearer and more complete understanding of what happened. So I examined each account and merged the three retellings as best as I could, keeping as much of the original language as would not be overly repetitive and yet would continue to make sense. The result of that work can be read here.
What I found when I joined the stories absolutely fascinated me. I wanted to go through the Gospels and do the same thing with every story I found retold in two or more places. However, I didn't actually do this again until recently, when a dream inspired me to once again research a particular event. I relived the same fascination doing this work that I had when I researched the calming of the storm. Because of this, I hope to do this at least once a week and, maybe, post the result.
I hope you find this as interesting as I do.
Jen
BINDING THE STRONG MAN
Matthew 12; Mark 3; Luke 11
Then He (Jesus) went home, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat. When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”
Then a demon-possessed man who was blind and unable to speak was brought to Him. Now He was driving out a demon that was mute. When the demon came out, the man who had been mute, spoke, and the crowds were amazed. He healed him, so that the man could both speak and see. And all the crowds were astounded and said, “Perhaps this is the Son of David!”
The scribes who had come down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul in Him!” and, “He drives out demons by the ruler of the demons!” When the Pharisees heard this, they said, “The man drives out demons only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons.” And others, as a test, were demanding of Him a sign from heaven.
So He summoned them and spoke to them in parables. Knowing their thoughts, He told them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is headed for destruction, and no city or house divided against itself will stand, and a house divided against itself falls. If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rebels against himself and is divided, he cannot stand but is finished! For you say I drive out demons by Beelzebul. And if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, who is it your sons drive them out by? For this reason they will be your judges. If I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you.”
“How can someone enter a strong man’s house and steal his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. But when one stronger than he attacks and overpowers him, he takes from him all his weapons he trusted in, and divides up his plunder. No one can enter a strong man’s house and rob his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can and will rob his house.”
“Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters. Because of this, I tell you, people will be forgiven every sin and blasphemy, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. I assure you: People will be forgiven for all sins and whatever blasphemies they may blaspheme. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin. Whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the one to come.” because they were saying, “He has an unclean spirit.”
What I found when I joined the stories absolutely fascinated me. I wanted to go through the Gospels and do the same thing with every story I found retold in two or more places. However, I didn't actually do this again until recently, when a dream inspired me to once again research a particular event. I relived the same fascination doing this work that I had when I researched the calming of the storm. Because of this, I hope to do this at least once a week and, maybe, post the result.
I hope you find this as interesting as I do.
Jen
BINDING THE STRONG MAN
Matthew 12; Mark 3; Luke 11
Then He (Jesus) went home, and the crowd gathered again so that they were not even able to eat. When His family heard this, they set out to restrain Him, because they said, “He’s out of His mind.”
Then a demon-possessed man who was blind and unable to speak was brought to Him. Now He was driving out a demon that was mute. When the demon came out, the man who had been mute, spoke, and the crowds were amazed. He healed him, so that the man could both speak and see. And all the crowds were astounded and said, “Perhaps this is the Son of David!”
The scribes who had come down from Jerusalem said, “He has Beelzebul in Him!” and, “He drives out demons by the ruler of the demons!” When the Pharisees heard this, they said, “The man drives out demons only by Beelzebul, the ruler of the demons.” And others, as a test, were demanding of Him a sign from heaven.
So He summoned them and spoke to them in parables. Knowing their thoughts, He told them: “Every kingdom divided against itself is headed for destruction, and no city or house divided against itself will stand, and a house divided against itself falls. If Satan drives out Satan, he is divided against himself. How then will his kingdom stand? How can Satan drive out Satan? If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand. And if Satan rebels against himself and is divided, he cannot stand but is finished! For you say I drive out demons by Beelzebul. And if I drive out demons by Beelzebul, who is it your sons drive them out by? For this reason they will be your judges. If I drive out demons by the Spirit of God, by the finger of God, then the kingdom of God has come to you.”
“How can someone enter a strong man’s house and steal his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man? When a strong man, fully armed, guards his estate, his possessions are secure. But when one stronger than he attacks and overpowers him, he takes from him all his weapons he trusted in, and divides up his plunder. No one can enter a strong man’s house and rob his possessions unless he first ties up the strong man. Then he can and will rob his house.”
“Anyone who is not with Me is against Me, and anyone who does not gather with Me scatters. Because of this, I tell you, people will be forgiven every sin and blasphemy, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. I assure you: People will be forgiven for all sins and whatever blasphemies they may blaspheme. Whoever speaks a word against the Son of Man, it will be forgiven him. But whoever blasphemes against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is guilty of an eternal sin. Whoever speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven him, either in this age or in the one to come.” because they were saying, “He has an unclean spirit.”
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Posts
I find it interesting that I can never tell which blogs I post will generate comments and which will not. Oddly enough, the blogs I post that really feel like they cost me something generate no comments.
I'm not sure what this means.
Either A: no one reads my blogs, B: no one finds the above-referenced blogs (the ones that cost me emotionally) interesting, or C: no one wants "to go there."
Anyway, as a blogger (a very intermittent blogger), I'm not really sure what to with this? Do I stop writing those particular kinds of entries? Or does someone out there, who doesn't want to be known, get something out of those entries (even if it's just to see how odd I am)? Or do I need anyone to read these at all?
Of course, I do write with the hope that someone will read. After all, I have a diary for what I don't want read and I certainly don't need to blog at all.
I guess I long for connection. After all, being a stay-at-home/homeschooling/business owning mom keeps me busy enough to have a non-existent (well, almost) social life.
(Sigh)
...Till my next installment of the continuing battle with my need for approval...
I'm not sure what this means.
Either A: no one reads my blogs, B: no one finds the above-referenced blogs (the ones that cost me emotionally) interesting, or C: no one wants "to go there."
Anyway, as a blogger (a very intermittent blogger), I'm not really sure what to with this? Do I stop writing those particular kinds of entries? Or does someone out there, who doesn't want to be known, get something out of those entries (even if it's just to see how odd I am)? Or do I need anyone to read these at all?
Of course, I do write with the hope that someone will read. After all, I have a diary for what I don't want read and I certainly don't need to blog at all.
I guess I long for connection. After all, being a stay-at-home/homeschooling/business owning mom keeps me busy enough to have a non-existent (well, almost) social life.
(Sigh)
...Till my next installment of the continuing battle with my need for approval...
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Tuesday, May 1, 2001
Tuesday, May 1, 2001
"They say I am
But I am not
Failure
Unequipped
Psychotic I am
Strong I am not
Weak
Hapless
Stupid I am
Well I am not
Tired
Lazy
Mean I am
Good I am not
Wife
Teacher
Mother I am
Human I am not
Some things cannot be said, some things are best not said, and some things won't be said. Am I growing? I am certainly suffering pains. Why do I not learn? Why do I grow tougher with each trial, instead of wiser? Knowing is not enough. the ignorant man can be excused. I cannot.
Why fight a losing battle? I can't win. Slave is my birthright. I was born in chains I could not yet feel. Now that I can feel them, I have grown too big to shrug them off.
What good do two selfish people give the world or each other? Why do I not change instead of stretching my limits?
Where would I go? I would come right back. I would walk out of one prison and into another. There is no freedom in life. I made my chains, why not like them?
I don't think I can be happy. I always find something wrong. Why did I bring a baby into my miserable existence and just how am I going to **** him up?
He deserves better parents."
Wanting to record a dream into my diary, I came across some words that drew me to this entry. I don't often remember how this felt. Truly, our minds strive to remember the good times and forget the bad. For this reason, I am so glad that I, at least occasionally, record my journey in a diary. I can look back and see where I was in relation to where I am.
I have been set free.
Life isn't easy. "Our lives last seventy years or, if we are strong, eighty years. Even the best of them are struggle and sorrow; indeed, they pass quickly and we fly away." (Psalm 90:10) Even today, I face challenges that seem so far beyond my capabilities. But since I met Christ, I am wiser and tougher. I am less ignorant than I was then, but no longer bear such guilt. I am not fighting a losing battle I cannot win, I am fighting a winning battle I cannot lose.
Yes, I was born into slavery, but I have been purchased out of that and adopted as a daughter. I have traded my chains for the yoke of Christ, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. My husband and I have been changed and do give to the world and we have found the freedom in this life that I didn't believe existed.
...And I know happiness.
Thank you, my Jesus, for taking me as yours and giving my children better parents.
[So Jesus said the the Jews who had believed in Him, "If you continue in My word, you really are My disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)]
...And for the record,...
[John 8:33-35 "We are descendants of Abraham," they answered Him, "and we have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say, 'You will become free'?" Jesus responded, "I assure you: Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in the household forever, but a son does remain forever. Therefore if the Son sets you free, you really will be free."]
"They say I am
But I am not
Failure
Unequipped
Psychotic I am
Strong I am not
Weak
Hapless
Stupid I am
Well I am not
Tired
Lazy
Mean I am
Good I am not
Wife
Teacher
Mother I am
Human I am not
Some things cannot be said, some things are best not said, and some things won't be said. Am I growing? I am certainly suffering pains. Why do I not learn? Why do I grow tougher with each trial, instead of wiser? Knowing is not enough. the ignorant man can be excused. I cannot.
Why fight a losing battle? I can't win. Slave is my birthright. I was born in chains I could not yet feel. Now that I can feel them, I have grown too big to shrug them off.
What good do two selfish people give the world or each other? Why do I not change instead of stretching my limits?
Where would I go? I would come right back. I would walk out of one prison and into another. There is no freedom in life. I made my chains, why not like them?
I don't think I can be happy. I always find something wrong. Why did I bring a baby into my miserable existence and just how am I going to **** him up?
He deserves better parents."
Wanting to record a dream into my diary, I came across some words that drew me to this entry. I don't often remember how this felt. Truly, our minds strive to remember the good times and forget the bad. For this reason, I am so glad that I, at least occasionally, record my journey in a diary. I can look back and see where I was in relation to where I am.
I have been set free.
Life isn't easy. "Our lives last seventy years or, if we are strong, eighty years. Even the best of them are struggle and sorrow; indeed, they pass quickly and we fly away." (Psalm 90:10) Even today, I face challenges that seem so far beyond my capabilities. But since I met Christ, I am wiser and tougher. I am less ignorant than I was then, but no longer bear such guilt. I am not fighting a losing battle I cannot win, I am fighting a winning battle I cannot lose.
Yes, I was born into slavery, but I have been purchased out of that and adopted as a daughter. I have traded my chains for the yoke of Christ, whose yoke is easy and whose burden is light. My husband and I have been changed and do give to the world and we have found the freedom in this life that I didn't believe existed.
...And I know happiness.
Thank you, my Jesus, for taking me as yours and giving my children better parents.
[So Jesus said the the Jews who had believed in Him, "If you continue in My word, you really are My disciples. You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." (John 8:31-32)]
...And for the record,...
[John 8:33-35 "We are descendants of Abraham," they answered Him, "and we have never been enslaved to anyone. How can you say, 'You will become free'?" Jesus responded, "I assure you: Everyone who commits sin is a slave of sin. A slave does not remain in the household forever, but a son does remain forever. Therefore if the Son sets you free, you really will be free."]
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Shared Liberation
A quote I got from Sara Groves blog that just seems to resonate with me:
"If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together. - Aboriginal activists group, Queensland, 1970s
Wow! Who, needing help, really wants to be "less" than his helper? And who, giving help, should feel greater than the one he is helping? But the brotherhood of being liberated with the one you are liberating... and being liberated with the one who is liberating you... that is beautiful!
"If you have come to help me you are wasting your time. But if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together. - Aboriginal activists group, Queensland, 1970s
Wow! Who, needing help, really wants to be "less" than his helper? And who, giving help, should feel greater than the one he is helping? But the brotherhood of being liberated with the one you are liberating... and being liberated with the one who is liberating you... that is beautiful!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
The Dumbing Down of Jennifer Landeche
Somebody told me I made them feel stupid. He said, "You know, other teachers, they may know like way up here, but they make you feel like they only know a little more than you do."
If he was the first person to tell me this, I would say like "So what!" But he's not. He's like the 2nd or 3rd person to tell me that this year.
So, I've made my mind. For the next 30 or so years of my life, starting today August 26, 2009, I'm making a New Year's Revolution. I'm gonna try really really hard...
to be dumber!
Anybody got any hints?
If he was the first person to tell me this, I would say like "So what!" But he's not. He's like the 2nd or 3rd person to tell me that this year.
So, I've made my mind. For the next 30 or so years of my life, starting today August 26, 2009, I'm making a New Year's Revolution. I'm gonna try really really hard...
to be dumber!
Anybody got any hints?
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